Next week is my retirement ceremony.

I’ve been planning a three-day celebration that includes two parties, a final flight with a 75-foot water canon, a champagne brunch, a guided sound bath, and a private dinner. My wife Zaira jokes that it’s my Indian wedding—because like many Indian weddings, it’s a multi-day, full-blown production.

So, why all this? Do I really need two parties?

I’ve been telling myself it’s for the guests. That if friends and family are flying in from across the country, I want to make it worth their time. That’s partly true.

But the deeper truth is this: there are two parties because there are two distinct moments happening.

One is a funeral.
The other is a birth.

The funeral aspect might sound morbid, but there’s genuine mourning happening here. The life I’ve led for the past 25 years is ending. Lieutenant Colonel Solano will exist only in memory after next week. That’s why I’ve spent the last 30 days posting Army memories on social media – they’re like eulogies to the person who’s leaving us.

The second celebration, complete with dancers and festivities, honors the birth of something new. There’s a part of myself that has existed as an infant for many years, but will now venture into the world on its own, without the protection of the Lieutenant Colonel.

This brings me to what I believe is a crucial leadership lesson: We must allow ourselves to mourn during major life transitions.

Whether it’s retirement, divorce, career changes, or any significant shift, mourning isn’t just healthy – it’s essential. When we skip this process, we carry unresolved grief into our new chapters.

I’ve seen colleagues struggle for years after retirement because they never acknowledged what they were losing, only what they were gaining. Some turn bitter, others become depressed, and many simply feel lost because they rushed past the ending without honoring what was.

The leaders who navigate transitions most successfully are those who give themselves permission to grieve the old while celebrating the new. They understand that you can’t fully embrace what’s coming if you haven’t properly said goodbye to what’s going.

So yes, I’m having two parties because I’m experiencing two profound life events simultaneously. And I’m learning that honoring both is necessary for my transition.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Lieutenant Colonel Solano (for one last week)